I Feel Tired, Oh So Tired

Our family has experienced a lot of loss in the past few months. In June, my grandfather, Grandpa Claude passed away. He was the patriarch of the family and one of the greatest people you could ever meet. He was funny and kind, and I never visited him or called enough. It was a hard loss. A couple weeks later, my dad passed away. It was a total shock. He'd never lived the healthiest lifestyle, or made the best decisions, but I never thought I'd lose him so early. I'm the morbid type, and I've always wondered how I'd react if I lost a parent. Would I cry? Would I wallow in self-pity? Well, now I know. I sat in total shock, on the phone, while my stepmom told me the news, and as soon as I hung up, I sobbed like a baby. Once I was finished, I called my sister to see how she was handling it, and then I texted my other sister. I probably should have called her too, but I wasn't in the mood to talk more than I had to. My job offers three days of paid bereavement, wh...

My ex-husband and I divorced when our daughter was three. We met when we were young - he was 19, I was 23. He moved in after we'd been dating for three weeks, so that should tell you how intelligent I was back then. On our first anniversary, he proposed. It was actually a sweet proposal. ted by my best friend, of course. She helped him pick the ring, and he made me Build-A-Bear in a little tux with "Will you marry me?" recorded on his little bear paw. Of course, I said yes. We were engaged for quite a while, and when we found out that I was pregnant, we decided to put off getting married until after Alex was born. Alex wasn't planned. Neither of us had ever wanted kids, and we were both very career focused. We had good jobs, and pulled in six figures between us. All that changed when my beautiful baby was born. Nate, my husband, and I decided that it was best if I quit my job and stay home to raise the baby. At the time, even though we worked for the same company, ...

For those who don't know what I do for a living, I'm the Lawn & Garden manager at my local Walmart. My job essentially entails managing the merchandise, sales and my rag-tag group of sales associates for both the gardening and seasonal seasons. From April to August, we focus on gardening and plants, and the rest of the year, we run seasonal (Harvest, Halloween, Christmas, Easter, etc). I have a team of five associates under me and an assistant manager over me. For the most part, it's not a difficult job. The hardest part is figuring out how to transition from one season to the next without making a total mess or sitting on a metric shit-ton of unsold merchandise. Lucky for me, I'm a compulsive planner, so clean transitions are what I excel at, and one of the key reasons I was asked to take over that hot mess of a department in the first place. This position is far from the first management position I've ever had. I've been in various retail management posi...

In my younger days, I blogged all the time. I've always found it easier than journaling, which is evidenced by the multitude of barely-begun journals lining my bookcase. When you write a journal, you know going into it, that you're writing solely for yourself, and the odds of anyone else ever reading your most fascinating thoughts are slim to nil. When you blog, you're also probably writing for an audience of one, but you can convince yourself that you're not. As someone who airs my every inappropriate thought to the masses, much to their dismay, this obviously appeals to me more. So, now in my mid-thirties, I'm back! And the world has my sincerest apologies for that. In my youth, I was a little wild and crazy. If I wasn't working 60-70 hours a week (for a pretty decent salary), I was partying myself into oblivion. Fast forward a dozen years, and life has slowed down significantly. If you've ever ridden Heimlichs Chew-Chew Express at Disneyland, then you...